Skill Balancing Humor

An idea for the name of a wrestler that dresses up like Santa Claus:

Chris Krinkler

Idea for a sandwich shop featuring disco dancing:

The Bump and Grinder

Idea for a fruit shop run by a surly lady:

The Grapes of Ruth

An easy way to annoy your teenage daughter as she watches one of her favorite shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". During the show, interrupt with, "Is that ..."

Biffy?
Muffy?
Blimpy?
Lucky?
Buffo?
Ducky?
Binky?
Fluffy?
Puffy?
Pinky?
Bucko?
Duffy?
Dinky?
Bucky?

Brilliance is being the first to see the obvious.

Q: What do you call it when babies pass gas in their pants?

A: Diaper laughter.

Only the truth matters. Accuracy is the highest form of honesty. -- Wes Sherman

nessie -- any unidentifiable object seen bobbing in a pool of water

Faux Pa -- the man's cologne that will make you smell like her dad

insanity -- trying the same thing over and over with your computer (or with your children) and expecting the same results

So, I saw this orange protest sign with black lettering
on the road that said,"End Road Work". Yeah!

"So, Mike, how come you got me nothing for my birthday?"

"Sorry! Here's a paper napkin. Happy Birthday!
Remember, it's the thought that counts!"

"Those are pretty cr*ppy thoughts ..."

deaf moot - someone who always talks but never listens

"I spent too much for Christmas!"
"I'm sorry, Daddy! Is it my fault?"
"Yes, sweetheart! But, you are my fault!"

"Dad, why are guys so weird?"
"Sweetheart, there are weird girls, too.
There's plenty of weirdness around.
Enough for everybody."

"Remember kids, half the fun is getting there!"
"Really, Dad? What's the other half?"
"Getting back!"

"I'm a normal kid, just not in this family!"

Dad's advice to the boy about his girlfriend:
"Get used to her taking your things."

Mike: "Dad, the food there is so old! It's not shelf life. It's shelf after-life!"

My daughter named her new gerbil after me! She named him, "Ape".

Kids can be great motivators for self-improvement:
"Dad, you're getting fat!"